Following the invisible thread to healing grief…

I worked with a long-time client /friend yesterday and noticed during our conversation she kept referring to things being STUPID. Her stupid medicine, her stupid this and her stupid that.

She has been struggling with many health issues including rheumatoid arthritis, sight issues from diabetes and several other health conditions over the years. 

With understanding of the ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences) studies and the direct correlation between repressed childhood trauma and adult health issues my intuition led me to wonder if the series of STUPID comments was her subconscious mind trying to tell us something. She wasn’t conscious of even saying it but it stood out loud and clear to me as her Inner Child Advocate. So, as we talked more about it, we decided to do a little tapping on it just to clear it up if it was something being repressed. 

After we did some tapping on her feelings about using the word STUPID, suddenly she started to sob. She had recently been triggered by the memory, or more accurately the feeling that her son, who died 6 years ago, at age 24, after a lifelong series of illnesses was there with her. He suffered with crone’s disease and colon cancer stemming from eating some bad bacteria in a hot dog at age 5. She was triggered by feeling STUPID that the grief still felt so fresh after all these years.

As she was able to release some of the intensity with the tapping, she told me that it’s been 6 years and she SHOULD be over the grief by now. Intellectually she understood (she believes in reincarnation and she felt at peace that he was on the other side living his new life). However, the retriggered grief was almost unbearable for her. We kept tapping as she explained, in between sobs, that it felt like it just happened yesterday.

As we continued to tap and release the intensity, I asked her what this grief reminded her of and she instantly went back to a specific memory of being 7-years-old. Her little sister had just come home from school and brought a piece of her schoolwork to show their parents. When her little sister showed their alcoholic dad, he told her she was STUPID and why couldn’t she be more like her sister? (My client always got A’s and her little sister really struggled in school. As I’m typing this however, I now realize that they were only 7 and 5-years-old so they really hadn’t had much experience getting good grades or struggling in school but that was definitely her belief from her 7-year-old perspective). 

At that moment all those years ago, as a 7-year-old child, she could still feel those very painful, intense feelings. She felt like she SHOULD have stood up for her little sister and she felt shame that she didn’t.

As we continued to tap about how at 7-years-old she couldn’t stand up for her sister because she didn’t know how, it lessened the intensity tremendously.

She couldn’t blame her dad for saying that because at that age our very survival depends on our parents and so our only option is to blame ourselves. 

That was a traumatic experience for her and she was still carrying it in the cells of her body. I asked her who she was able to talk to about it after that happened. She immediately said what I expected her to say…no one. I call that the trauma after the trauma. When we experience a trauma and there is no one there to help us process it, and we have to do it alone, that causes another trauma. She did the only thing she could do for her own survival and that was stuffing the painful emotions that were too much for her as a 7-year-old into her subconscious and moving on with her life. However, that deep wound stayed with her and subconsciously was continuing to impact her life all these years later.

We were able to help her release and let go of those painful feelings that she had been holding onto in her body around that experience for all these years. After we completed the tapping the painful emotions had neutralized and she was able to clearly understand why she and her sister have never gotten along and she didn’t know why. Now it all made perfect sense.

Are you subconsciously carrying around old traumas, both big T and little t, and you are ready to release them and let them go at a core level? Please feel free to email me at with questions.

Happy Tapping! 



Repressed emotions can be detrimental…

Emotional Freedom is priceless!

Gwen Orwiler
Gwen Orwiler

Gwen Orwiler is an Emotional Freedom Coach & Inner Child Advocate. Through tapping, Gwen helps her clients release emotional wounds from their past, at a core level, so they can live their strongest life today.

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