Trouble Remembering? Get to the source of the problem.

Tip 1: Consider virtually every issue you deal with as a “symptom.”

Then rather than treating the symptom, look for the cause and eliminate it. 

Traditional medicine typically treats symptoms, while EFT eradicates the cause of the problem.  For instance, if you have a pain in your finger, you could just take a pain pill or a typical painkiller and hope to deaden the pain. Or you might look closer at your finger and discover a tiny splinter is causing the problem. Remove the splinter, the source of the pain, and the finger immediately feels better.

This same principle works as well on emotional issues as physical ailments.  As an example, “Joey”, a woman of about 45, was having trouble remembering simple things, like what had just been discussed in a business meeting she was in. She also had trouble remembering the childhoods of her children and many other things.  We could have simply tapped on “this memory problem” and might have eventually gotten results.  

Instead, I did some detective work and discovered what I believed to be the source of her memory problem.

When she was 18 Joey had an abortion and was very ashamed of it. Whenever she would see children playing together, or mothers snuggling their babies, she would get very upset. Children and babies, and several other things, caused her to think about the abortion, prompting more shame and guilt. This in turn caused more remorse and depression. 

It seemed apparent to me that Joey had basically “taught” herself not to be very aware of what was happening around her and more importantly taught herself not-to-remember.

After this discovery we tapped on her letting go of the shame, remorse, and guilt from the abortion, using a formula I use with most issues. For Joey the set-up statement went something like this; 

“Even though I feel guilty and ashamed about having the abortion, I want to love and accept myself.” 

We used the reminder statements of “this shame, guilt and remorse”, or “abortion regret.” 

On the second and third rounds I helped Joey “vent” by saying phrases on each tapping point that gave voice to what she’s been saying to herself for years. For instance; 

“I shouldn’t have let it happen. I should have raised that child. I’m so ashamed! Why did I do it?  I must be a horrible person!”

After a round or two of that I then gradually shifted to a more forgiving tone saying phrases such as these on each tapping point 

“I’ve been beating myself up for years about this.” 

“But I didn’t know any better.” 

“I was just a kid myself.” 

“How much longer do I have to punish myself for this?” 

“I want to let this go.” 

“I want to forgive myself.” 

“I’m a good mother and wife now”, etc.  

“I want to get over this pain.”

It did the trick. Within seconds after getting the intensity down to a zero Joey starting remembering things about her children’s lives. She was thrilled and so relieved to let go of the guilt she’d carried for all those years. 

When I followed up a few days later, Joey said she was remembering all of the things she had been having difficulties with before.

This whole process took less than an hour and was lasting. Going for the cause right away, I feel is a faster, more direct way to deal with most problems.

~ Lindsay Kenny, EFT Master