“I’ve been having pelvic pain, “my new client told me. The doctor told me that she found “a moderate amount of blood in my urine.” “That was pretty alarming,” she said, “It’s been weighing on me a bit.”
She said it was a 10 of importance regarding dealing with it because it was affecting her quality of life.
Since it was her first session, I explained how tapping works. I told her that we are looking for the emotions in her body, the stress, sort of like when you get your buttons pushed. When we are experiencing negative emotions we typically feel some physical experience like pressure in our head, tears in our eyes, a lump in our throat, tightness in our chest, yucky feeling in our stomach or tension in our neck and shoulders.
When I asked her where the emotional pain was when she talked about the pelvic pain and blood in her urine she said her anxiety was about a 7 intensity in her chest.
I reminded her that this isn’t talk therapy and it’s important to listen to that little voice inside her head as we tap. Even if it doesn’t really make sense or if it feels silly sometimes it can give us important clues.
(NOTE: For those of you who aren’t familiar with tapping see the How to Tap video under the What is EFT? tab on the Home page. As we tap on the acupressure points with our own fingertips I say certain phrases based on what the client is telling me and I then have the client repeat after me like an echo. ) The following is just the highlights of this hour long tapping session.
We started tapping…
Even though they told me that I have blood in my urine and it’s pretty alarming. I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept how I feel.
Even though I feel all this anxiety in my chest, I deeply and profoundly love and value myself and completely accept how I fee.
It’s pretty alarming because I might be unprepared for what I have to deal with. I’m too afraid of what they might find out.
After some other questions I asked her if she was afraid it might be cancer? And then I asked her if the intensity went up when I asked her that question.
Client: “Yes, it definitely caused more anxiety,” she said. “Is it still in your chest?,” I asked, “or did it go somewhere else?” “It’s also in my stomach now and it’s “Stress.”
OK We continued to tap…
Even though I still feel all this anxiety and stress. I’m afraid it might be cancer. (She whispered to me, “Should I say that?” I told her yes, to please say the truth of what she feels out loud. She said OK and we went on…)
“I’m afraid that it’s cancer” she repeated tentatively. It’s hard to say out loud because I don’t want it to be true. By saying it out loud it feels like it might be true.
“Is that correct?,” I asked.
Client: Ya… because with me speaking the words out loud it’s kinda like what you choose to focus on… it somehow gives it more life or more truth.
Even though I’m afraid it might be cancer and I’m also afraid if I talk about it or think about it that it will make it true so I want to pretend it’s not happening.
Client: “Well… it’s pretty accurate. However I don’t know that I’m necessarily “pretending” that it’s happening,” she said. “Something is happening.”
“Even though I’ve been working hard to just go on about my biz and not really think about it, I completely accept how I feel.
I learned if I don’t focus on it I won’t give it any power But trying to not give it any power Is a little like paying pay no attention to the elephant in the room
Client: Ugh, ya. (nervous giggle)
When I try to think of it not being cancer That’s all I can think about.
So I keep trying to:
- Push it down?
- Ignore it?
- Pretend it’s not there?
Gwen: What is it that you are trying to do?
Client: Well, trying to stay positive I think and I guess in essence it would be ignoring it.
OK. Kept tapping….
The blood is in my urine And I’m worried about it but the more I ignore it, the bigger it seems to get.
Client: Umm… You know honestly maybe this is a coping tactic that I’ve learned to adapt to under stressful situations like this. And yes there’s anxiety there but I think its’ actually been helping me to cope with it because I do think about it but I don’ t obsess about it during the day. I really do try to distract myself and do what I need to do.
Gwen: Ok, I got it.
And the elephant is still in the room I’m open to the possibility. If I let myself see the elephant maybe I can think more clearly
Gwen: Let’s check in with all that anxiety and stress in your chest about finding blood in your urine. What’s the intensity number now? Is it possible to give it a number?
Client: Ya… (thoughtful) I would say now it’s probably like about a 3.
Gwen: The intensity of the anxiety and stress of finding blood in your urine dropped from a 7 to a 3 just by allowing yourself to “see” the elephant, huh? I typically call those elephants in the room emotional beach balls… So what happens if you try to hold a beach ball under the water?
Client: Right… it will come back up. Laughing, right, I hear ya!
Gwen: Isn’t it interesting how different if feels (and you’re laughing and it’s awesome) because we are so busy literally trying to “pretend” (and I’m aware that it’s not a good word for you) however for lack of a better word, we’re trying to pretend that elephant isn’t in the room.
Gwen: And yet THERE IS A BLOODY ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!
Client: Laughter! Right! Ya! Exactly!
Gwen: And so often what happens is we are putting all of our energy into holding the beach balls under the water and none into healing….
I invite you to come back next Tuesday, Dec 9th and read Tapping Away STRESS that contributes to Pain and Dis-Ease — Part II. Learn where that STRESS and anxiety was coming from in the first place and how we were able to clear a lot of it, pretty easily, at a core level with EFT.