“What I didn’t know was that I needed to embrace my heartbroken little boy’s loneliness and unresolved grief about his lost father, his lost family, and his lost childhood. I had to embrace my original pain.”
~John Bradshaw, author Homecoming
Friends: “The good news is that original pain work involves nature’s own healing process. Grief is the healing feeling. We will heal naturally if we are just allowed to grieve.”
“Grief involves the whole range of human emotions. The original pain is an accumulation of unresolved conflicts whose energy has snowballed over time. The wounded inner child is frozen because there was no way they could do their grief work. All of their emotions were bound by toxic shame. We came to believe that we could not depend on our primary caregiver. In fact, we came to believe that we had no right to depend on anyone. Isolation and the fear of depending on anyone are two of the main consequences of toxic shame.”
“For your wounded inner child to come out of hiding, they must be able to trust that you will be there for them. Your inner child also needs a supportive, non-shaming ally to validate their abandonment, neglect, abuse, and enmeshment.”
Reading the above in John Bradshaw’s book Homecoming, he clearly describes what is needed to heal original pain, the pain that happens to us prior to the age of 8 when our brain is in a hypnotic state absorbing everything that we see, hear and feel directly into our subconscious mind. EFT tapping is such a gentle, effective and relatively quick way to process the grief and shame that your inner child has been subconsciously hiding behind for so many years. In my own personal inner work and as an Inner Child Advocate I have experienced a “supportive, non-shaming ally” working with other EFT practitioners and have been one for my clients. How could you benefit from being able to release that from your body once and for all?
Have you ever been going though your adult life and out of no where your emotional buttons got pushed? In a nano-second, your body was filled with intense emotions, could be fear, shame, grief, guilt, sadness… you name it. And typically you don’t even know where it came from or how to deal with it. My experience and understanding is that it is the inner childhood wounds that have been stored in our bodies, not gone just hidden in our subconscious mind. The most important part to understand is that when those emotional buttons get triggered and we have an emotional outburst of some kind, our emotions are at the same age level as they were during the original “trauma” or pain (feelings of helplessness, powerlessness and overwhelm). So for instance, if you had a shaming experience at age 4 it was tucked away in your subconscious because it was just too painful to deal with. When something triggers that shame button as an adult, however, you instantly FEEL it as if you were a 4 year old again. That’s why it’ feels so dramatic and painful!
Remember, EFT work is NOT talk therapy, it’s like emotional acupuncture without needles. We use our own fingertips to gently focus on and clear the limiting emotions that are keeping us stuck.
Being STUCK in your emotional past is expensive… Emotional Freedom is priceless!
PS Please share your thoughts below. There is healing in the interaction, finding out that you aren’t alone after all. Many, many women experience the same feelings you have, or are, struggling with — I’m one of them! However most of us have lived a lifetime feeling too ashamed to talk about it. This is a safe place to share.