I AM Worth It!!
I want to push through to the next level in certain areas of my life. I’ve been married almost 20 years. It’s a very rocky relationship. I want to let go and I know that I’m finally at a place… it would be a healthy thing for both of us to go ahead and move forward.
But I have no clue…
This was Danielle’s first session (Not her real name). She was referred by one of my 90 Day Intensive clients. As we chatted I asked her questions about what she wanted to work on and she continued on with the story.
[NOTE: Keep in mind EFT is NOT talk therapy and it’s not necessary to go deep into the story at all. We base the work on how you feel and where you feel it in your body and go from there, however, Danielle is a very verbal person and it seemed that she was processing AS she talked, which was just fine.]
I’m very, very angry. In the last 6 months I’ve decided what I really want. I know I want it but I don’t know how to get there. I already know the problem, why I can’t get past it?
I explained to her about our bodies ability to deal with fear, stress and trauma…
Fight or Flight? I think I live there! (laugh) I just go through the motions of life because that’s what I’m used to. I have a lot of resources around me, a lot of support but I just don’t see myself having a happy life. I’m definitely my worst critic! I just want to get a handle on it! I’ve been through a lot, it’s not that I can’t handle it. It’s the moving past it part. The hurt… I want to feel empowered.
We started the tapping: (the following are just snippets of the entire hour long session. During the taping session we do a comment and echo style. I say something and then the client repeats me and so on)
I asked, how do you feel? “I feel very, very angry.” Where do you feel it? “Back of my neck.” What intensity number would it be? “#6”
[NOTE: With EFT when we measure the intensity of the emotional charge we measure it between a 0 = NO emotional charge and a 10 = a very HIGH emotional charge.)
Even though I feel very, very angry, I feel it in the back of my neck and I deeply and profoundly love and value myself anyway, and accept how I feel. (the love and value myself part was hard for her to say so we changed it)
Even though I feel all this anger in the back of my neck, I completely accept how I feel.
I feel so angry because I don’t feel valued. I feel so angry
I’ve been feeling this angry since ___________ (She instantly filled in the blank with since I’ve been 12 years old).
We continued to tap.
Even though I was only 12 years old and I didn’t feel valued.
When I was only 12 years old I didn’t feel valued because _______________ (Again it popped right up. Because I had to work so hard for my parents love).
We kept tapping… I’m open to the possibility that I’ve been carrying that hurt in my body ever since I was 12 years old
I’m an adult now
That feeling of not being valued in the back of my neck isn’t serving me at all anymore.
I chose to release it and let it go now…
“WOW!!” Was her immediate response after I asked her to take a deep breath.
I asked her to check back with feeling very, very angry in her neck to see what the intensity was now. She said it was #3.
Then I asked if there was anything, a memory or an event that popped up that represented that 3?
YES! (When we are able to be quiet and listen to that little voice inside our heads the answers often pop up pretty quickly.) “I felt abandoned,” she said. “I felt like I was left to figure out a lot of stuff and to be very understanding for my mom who emotionally was just not there.”
She continued, “I felt like I worked and worked so hard for both my mom and dad just to see me in the family. I’m the oldest. I never felt worth it!” (her voice was cracking)
I asked her where in her body she felt it? She responded in her heart. The intensity number was a #7
We did some more tapping…
Even though I just feel like I wasn’t even worth it, I feel it in my heart. I deeply and profoundly accept how I feel.
Even though I was just a little girl and I felt abandoned and I was left to figure it out for myself. I deeply and profoundly accept how I feel.
I feel like I’m not worth it. I can feel it in my heart
I FELT like I WASN’T worth it. I FEEL like I’m NOT worth it. I feel about 12 years old.
It hurt really bad when I was 12 years old and I’m still carrying that hurt around, that belief deep down that I’m not worth it.
That belief isn’t serving me at all anymore and I chose to release it and let it go.
After she took a deep breath…. I asked her to go back to the beginning to check on being Very Very Angry at the back of her neck.
How angry does it feel NOW?
“I can’t feel it. I don’t feel it!,” she answered with a surprised tone in her voice.
I think I’ve been so numb back there. It feels like all the muscles are trying to relax right now. Hey, I have nerves back there! (Laughter)
I’ve tried talk therapy. I’ve done everything. It freaked me out a little regarding how hard it was to say I love and value myself and that I was worth it. However, I can’t tell you how cool it is, how much the “worth it” part, from my heart, how quickly I could feel it dissipate!”
WEIRD! Well, not weird, but… (laughing)
Yes, it IS weird I assured her! (Both of us laughing)
“I’m grabbing a hold of some freedom right now! It’s OK for me to want better. OH MY GOSH….. and I AM worth it!”
As she was talking herself though how she was feeling, and processing what had just happened I was thrilled. This is what I live for!! Often times people experience the feeling but they aren’t as verbal and I don’t get to be on the emotional freedom ride with them!
WOW! I said THAT!! It kind of freaks me out and kinda brings me to tears. I think this is the first time I’m not trying to fool myself. I’m REALLY worth it! It’s such a precious moment to feel like…. WOW!
You know how you say things repetitive (she was talking about positive affirmations and positive thoughts) but to FEEL it is a whole other thing! WOW! It’s gonna be a really great weekend! (laughter) I’m not a hugger but I just want to go and hug about 10 people today!!
She signed up for more sessions.
Would YOU like to release some of your blocked emotions and live Your Strongest Life? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s schedule YOUR session!